leanne rhymes

40 pairs of pants
36 pairs of socks
20 t-shirts
10 visas
9 boxes of malaria tablets
5 jerry cans
4 sleeping bags
2 tents
1 boot

What is it that rhymes with kit? Oh yeah, sh*t.

language skills

The language lessons begin – in just two weeks you too could be fluent.

hitch hiker

Yesterday a swallow came to visit. At the time we had lost our smiles and were knee deep in a tangled nest of wires. He sat calmly in the front footwell until our smiles reappeared.

Maybe he was waiting for a lift to Africa.

note to self: must take more photos

happy howies

A big whoop whoop to our friends at howies. They, like us, appreciate the finer things in life especially when communicated through the medium of fax.

Slow things are good.

Check them out here

the familiar commitment

In lurching from week to week, occasionally discussing the rather staid – yet frightfully important – details of the trip we have left family and friends perpetually awaiting the rolling ‘two week’ departure date. Henceforth we hereby commit ourselves wholeheartedly to our new departure date due in just two weeks time (visas permitting).

missing

This is a desperate plea for the return of a much loved kitchen funnel – last seen during an oil change involving a green recycling box and a household mop bucket.

The funnel is urgently required to take a central role in the brewing of 20 litres of ale. A £10 cash reward will be given to members of the public who are able to provide information which leads to the capture of the elusive funnel.

Please note a birthmark shaped like a fish can be found located on the inside of the funnel – any time wasters will be dealt a harsh blow from the hands of time.

administration assistant urgently required

We’re currently in the midst of a battle raging between monotony and time. Sapping our boyish enthusiasm to dangerously low levels we have grown to fear an ambush from insurgents brandishing a forgotten visa.

The only way to successfully win the rather vicious war on paperwork is to employ an administration assistant – full details can be found below:

Job description

• Organise and co-ordinate a team of dreamers
• Produce and duplicate a set of matching passport photos using a face and a photocopier
• Rapidly translate all passport and travel details into Arabic

Ideal candidate

• Competent forger of signatures
• Ability to use own initiative when dealing with diplomatic staff
• Prolific queuer

birdlife

Preparation has become all consuming and has left few household items untouched by grease smeared fingertips.

In adorning the feathers of a magpie and the mentality of a carrion crow we have trawled relentlessly through the pages of ebay. Delivery drivers double park in their rush to collect a signature whilst money makes its singular journey from an empty bank account. Concentrate on the job in hand we chant, pass the 10mm ratchet spanner we ask, give me the goddam hammer the damn thing won’t come off we shout.

Anyone updated the accounts? No.

foreign correspondence

I sit at my desk tapping the well worn keys of my laptop as the blades of the Fridgemaster ® fan vainly attempt to meet.

The romance of the foreign correspondent may be lacking but the forthcoming extracts from life on the sun bleached tarmac will hark back to a smaller, less familiar world. A world yet to be dominated by the grey interior of the budget airline. A world away from the well worn path of the sun burnt Liverpudlian culturist; harshly distracted by the bright white plastic sun loungers positioned around the urine soaked pool.