It has been nearly two weeks since our last breakdown. Just yesterday our painted smiles were replaced with something a little more real.  Finally we had found a country which had allowed us to conquer its unknown corners at no extra cost.

However, with one day to go before reaching the plains of South Africa luck’s arch enemy found us amongst the dunes. Cruelly he stole our rear offside brake pads.

A few heads were scratched, but eventually we found a solution.  Having clamped the rear brake line with a G-clamp we continued along the steep sandy tracks in search of a garage. To its credit Namibia never failed to provide us with a smile. I mean how many people can say that their 300km commute to the local garage looked like this?

So for our all loyal blog watchers we hereby issue you the following set of images complete with a heart felt apology.

Please note, the three plonkers are still at large – if seen please feel free to approach.

As many of you are aware we are a moral bunch of individuals. Such was our innate desire to help we attempted to stem the flow of water using a baked bean tin, however, the surge was unrelenting. It was at this point we decided to leg it!

Having reached Torra Bay the group’s jovial mood was in dire straits thanks to the driving wind which was threatening to tear the tents from their sandy stations. With the tents shored up with screw drivers – used in the absence of tent pegs – we sought refuge behind the car in a vain attempt to enjoy a little respite from the wind.

Sporting shorts and looking a little shell-shocked we caught the attention of our new neighbours. Their invitation of shelter and warmth was grabbed by three pairs of cold hands, eager to rid ourselves of our matching sets of ice cream headaches.  Like most people we have met on the road their levels of hospitality, were second to none. Such meetings, offers of assistance and parcels of food have left us feeling not only honoured but slightly guilty. Have we ever provided such kindness to a group of travellers new to the UK? Have you?

Though I digress I urge you to place the moral of this story in your top pocket for safe keeping. So the next time you see four Polish men cramped in a small car I trust you will open your door to them.

Compounding our sense of guilt our new friends would not let us leave without showing us the sights of this striking coastline. So at 5.30am – cursing their generosity – we began packing our belongings into the rear of the car in preparation for a little sightseeing and a mornings fishing. Though we were more than a little weary we were awake enough to catch this little beauty!

To all our hosts in all 16 countries I hereby thank you.

Clutching a glass of red wine (the perfect remedy for heartburn) we positioned ourselves on some rocks above the soon to be heaving waterhole. As the sun slowly set we remained transfixed in the hope that we might glimpse the illusive kill, or perhaps a herd of elephants frolicking in the shallow waters or maybe even a crocodile lurking beneath the surface.

No such luck. With the light fading rapidly and the wine running low we were becoming disheartened having yet to see a noteworthy animal. But just as we were collecting our discarded glasses we caught sight of the first predator of the evening. Straining our now weary eyes we were able to confirm our initial suspicions.

Like a true predator he patiently sat hidden from view. Without moving his silky smooth body he watched his prey nonchalantly going about its business, blissfully unaware of the impending danger. The sun had all but gone casting a dim light across the stage which lay below us.

Suddenly he exploded from his post pouncing on his prey. Though a short tussle ensued it wasn’t long before the writhing body fell limp in the mouth of the victorious hunter.

Unfortunately my wildlife knowledge is a little lacking in breadth and depth, and I therefore require a little help identifying the cast of ‘Kill Bill’. If anyone is able to identify either animal from the following descriptions please do not hesitate to contact us.

Predator
Small brown bird with a striking resemblance to a young English blackbird

Prey
Heavy set moth with a wingspan of approx 6cm

Like most days they pulled off the road at around 6pm in order find a perfect spot to set up camp. Having pitched the tents and lit a fire one of the boys set out to relieve himself. Whilst peppering the local flora with urine he spotted a vicious set of claw marks gouged into a neighbouring log.

Armed with a shovel and a small net the boys bravely sat down to wait for the mystery animal.  But as night fell their eye lids got gradually heavier until all three boys fell into a deep sleep.

As dawn broke the boys stirred in their sleep, blissfully unaware of the midnight attack. The bite marks on the boys arms glistened with fresh blood, providing a clue to their strange milky white bodies, apparently sucked clean of blood from the neck down.

With the end of the trip becoming – for the first time – a reality we had begun to consider how best to recoup the small fortune that we’d left scattered throughout the African countryside. Matt, being one step ahead of the majority, was currently battling against the hands of time in order to lodge a job application prior to the midnight cut off date.

With the weather closing in once again and plagued by an intermittent internet connection we reluctantly settled in for the the long haul with moral akin to a tethered gypsy. So to cheer ourselves up we bought a couple of fish and spent the evening huddled around a damp bar in the company of a group of American students. Having consumed a number of cold beers we felt it was time to spread the native word and duly led an impromptu class on the beauty of English slang.

In honour of our time together; lets get snifty you binners.